Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Day 14: You Can't Say I Don't Know Myself

Like I said, I'm better today.

Is it really that bad? Am I just blowing things out of proportion? Maybe I'm hormonal. That's probably it. Or......maybe I just have bad days every now and then like everyone else, eh?

But I'm not a negative person. I'm definately a "glass half-full" kinda gal. Yesterday's post is SO out of the ordinary for me. I hope y'all can tell that. Now, I even feel bad. Like, I shouldn't really vent at all (unrealistic?). I keep reading that post to make sure I wasn't having a pity party. If I was then it's coming down---I just don't like giving that impression. I don't pity myself. I don't pity Boo. I don't sit around wishing she was something she's not, and I don't begrudge my place in this life.

It just gets hard sometimes, that's all.

That's all I'm sayin'.


I know it's normal to have hard days. And even Dana, her teacher, deals with Michaela's little ideosyncracies on a day to day basis---she's KNOWS what my hard days are like. All the teachers in her class do. Like Chris and I tell each other when we vent, "You're preaching to the choir, Honey!" I'm sure Jeni, and Jen, and Evan's Mom, and Thimbelle, and Mete, and all the other "special needs" bloggy Moms have had days just like mine.

And, if I really think about it, so has Mitchi, and Heather, and Denna, and Jules, and Reba, and the other "regular needs" (which can get flat out overwhelming too, right?) bloggy Moms out there.

Raising children is just that way. You have your good days and your bad.

Oh, but you guys are right! The good days WAY outnumber the bad. I know that. I know that.

I guess I just needed a good crying jag yesterday. Know what I mean? Thanks for the shoulder, guys.

AND the prayers.

Y'all are the best.


Dana said...

Glad you are having a better day. It feels really good to vent sometimes. You know how much I love your precious Michaela!

Denna said...

Glad you are having a better day. Many times lately I think about life in a different way. We are passengers, and God is the driver. We are on this trip, and we go through dark tunnels, we go up hills, and we go down hills. Sometimes it looks like we are going to drive right off the cliff. Sometimes, it looks like our brakes are not going to stop, and other time it seems like our tires are going so fast that we will fly. God is our driver, so we don't have to fear. We just have to sit back and let him continue driving. Even in the times when we think we could handle it ourself, or maybe drive a little different, we have to let God continue to drive. God is in control, and he will not wreck us. Love ya,

JeniBeans said...

We love yah man! Keep up the great work! You're a great MOM!

JSmith5780 said...

I couldn't get through most my days either without the support of my online friends and my blog to vent to. Not that I don't have family also, but I feel they live it to, why should they listen to me.

Anyway, I am so glad that today is a better day and that my blue rose post helped.

Karen said...

Gosh if that is venting who knows what I sounds like sometimes! Man the things we have to go through but still be the hero of keeping are calm! It is sooo hard sometimes hearing a child cry non stop but not know why because they cant communicate. And time-out whats timeout for a special needs child, They usually forget the reason for it on the walk there! It can be so hard at times and I feel like going outside and screaming from frusteration but then I look at her and see such innoncenses through those big ol brown eyes it brings me back to some peace...Well that is until her next fit or broken lamp comes in...LOL! Sometimes you just gotta laugh it off, you are doing an amazing job. You have you arms overloaded but yet still keep it together! Way to go for Mom!!!!

Anonymous said...

Geez, sweetie - everyone has bad days.

Like the day I *yelled* at Twinks when I thought she broke her neck.

Yelled at her, lying on the floor.

Definately NOT "Mommy of the Year" material.

But that's what so magnificent about blogging. Because we can all vent here - all of the Moms of all different kinds of kids can just... vent.

I'm actually kind of glad that you let us in on your bad day - 'cause now I know you really are "real"! :)

Thim :)