Deadliness Is Next To Laziness

I am ILL.

Which is Southern for "irritated", "upset", "annoyed".

I am VERY ILL.

It really gets under my skin to see how people are so careless with their children. Now, I'm no paranoid mother, but let's get real here people: How hard is it to put your child in a safety seat? How much time does it really take to buckle them up? How much money do you have to spend to keep them from flying out the window? Outrageous. It's absolutely outrageous that some parents ARE SO LAZY they won't do one or two simple things to protect their children.

Now, I'm gonna get ILL (Northern style).

I'm not kidding. It literally wrenches my gut to see helpless TODDLERS bouncing around in a backseat, completely unaware of the danger they're in. All the while, some LAZY mother is chatting on her RAZR cellphone, and not paying much attention to the road.

Or, how about this one? The mother that doesn't want to "go through the trouble" of putting her infant car seat (at least she's got that, Britney Spears) in the back seat of her 2 door "matchbox on wheels". Hello! Can you say de-capitation from airbag??

Children are small. Children are lightweight projectiles that can move very fast, and hit very hard when they're not strapped in good enough. Oh, and that car seat that dances like a bobblehead when you take a curve? Yeah, not safe, Moms.

"But Johnny doesn't like his carseat! He cries all the time when he's in it. He's 3 now! He can sit in a regular seat!" Eeeeeehhhhhhh, wrong answer. Suck it up. Who's the parent here? I just don't have much sympathy for these spineless, lazy women who care more about their fake nails than about their child's wellbeing. They say kids should be in a weight appropriate safety seat until they're 4 ft 9 in. That's a big kid. But you know what? Seatbelts aren't made to restrain a human shorter than that. The belt ends up cutting right across the carotid artery (in the neck), and can slice it in the event of an accident. And no, it doesn't help if you put the shoulder belt behind the seat. The dinky lap belt won't do the trick for your 45 pound darling. That's why newer vehicles have shoulder straps even on the middle seats. And that's why there's such a thing as "booster seats". Which, by the way, take absolutely NO TIME to install or use. So, no excuses there.

And, yes, I understand that there are times when we don't go through the hassle of switching carseats just to go down the street to Grandma's house. And even though that's just as dangerous, I'm not really addressing that. It's the no-car-seat-all-the-time people that irritate the fire out of me.

Because I'm scared for their child. HA! ME! Who doesn't know that kid from Adam! I'M all concerned, but the mother isn't. Twisted, I tell you. But I am. I always hope they go somewhere other than where I'm going so I don't have to see a potentially fatal accident. You know, the feeling of being hopeless. Like watching someone go into a burning building without any protection. Yeah, they might make it out ok, but they're severely decreasing their odds. I just can't watch.

We have GOT to realize that cars, as common as they are now, are dangerous. The roads are filled with inexperienced drivers, problematic intersections, and unending distractions. We cannot take it lightly. Especially not when we have children in the car. Just remember: one moment of laziness now, can reap a lifetime of guilt and regret later.

So invest a few bucks on a solid carseat. Make sure it's installed right. Use it every time, for a long time. And feel confident that you've done everything you can to keep your child safe.

And save the laziness for the laundry.