Sunday, October 08, 2006

It's All in The Torso

Things are coming along these days in the gestating department. To see me, you'd think that there was a baby due any day now. But that's just the way things are with me. What I lack in stature, I make up for in area:

As in "Woman of Som-aria"

That would be me.

I've got the whole basketball thing going. The heartburn's here to stay. The back is permanently out of whack. My favorite sleeping position has moved to China and won't be back until after the holidays. My "friend" Dub L. Chin is an annoying and unwanted guest, but how can you kick him out when he supplies the chocolate for my every craving??

Cletus the Fetus, meanwhile, is having a swimmingly good time. She/he is perfecting their backstroke. Literally. My sciatic nerve tells me so.

And I am convinced that these new (yet unquestionably familiar) symptoms are mainly a byproduct of the fact that I'm short. Under 5'4", to be exact. There's simply no place for the baby to go but out, and up on occasion. The same goes for the excess chunk I seem to pack on whenever there's a new Morris cooking. It's all par for the course.

But sometimes I just wish I were taller.

Something makes me think that if I were only a tad bit more endowed in the height department, then perhaps the whole "pregnancy thing" would be a bit easier on me.

For starters, I wouldn't get asked if I'm overdue when I'm only 6 months along.

And I'm thinking no one would think me pregnant when my baby is 6 months old.

That would be a nice perk.

Yet, I'm a short, chunky kinda gal, and we short chunky gals just kinda carry babies like this. (which totally avoids the point that many of us are only "like this" because we've carried babies!) When your torso is only 12 inches long, where else are you going to stuff a 20 inch baby??

Do the math. It ain't pretty.

***

So, I'm am hanging in there though. Thanks for asking. I AM ready for this to all be over with. I still have about 3 months to go, unfortunately. On one hand, I'm thinking that the holiday season falling during my third tri-mester is going to be a good thing. A mind distracting event. Always good for getting through pregnancy. But, on the other hand, it's not terribly easy to engage in such festivities when the "barge-factor" is in effect.

Sigh.

I just gotta get through this ONE more time. Just one. more. time.

11 comments:

baSfsoGp said...

Now I understand why Sister Sylvia looks like she is just beginning a pregnancy...

It's the heighth.

She said at campmeeting that she was due in ten weeks and I about flipped out.

We love you Dub L Chin and all.

Jaylene said...

Oh, poor Kelly!! But just think of the fun of being tall AND chunky. (to put it nicely)

bonniejean said...

Sis. We love you. You will think I am dume,but my mind has went to China with your sleeping position. I spell my dauters name AuTumn!!!!!

kas said...

Cletus the Fetus!!
THAT... is hilarious!!!
You know that symbol LOL???
LOL!!!LOL!!!LOL!!!!
I love you Sister Morris!

Kelly said...

Katie, you're hilarious! I've used that phrase before!

rebermc said...

Oh, thanks for the diagnosis....please bill me later. AND explain what that last line meant. I thought you guys wanted a dozen.

Kelly said...

HA!

Surely you jest, my friend!

THE CASH FAMILY said...

HEY THIS IS SISTER GLORIA'S DAUGHTER. THANKS FOR THE COMMENT ON OUR BLOG. IT REALLY IS CRAZY HOW MUCH WE HAVE ON COMMON, BRYAN WOULD DO ANYTHING TO HAVE HALF A DOZEN KIDS. WHEN ARE YOU DUE EXCATLY? HOPE YOU IT GOES FAST FOR YOU. WE'VE GOT 9 WEEKS LEFT. KEEP IN TOUCH. IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU. JULE

Perfectly Aged said...

Sis Kelly,
I love you!
Thanks for taking in my daughter, she needs a friend like you :)
I love words, and you are such a good writer. I loved this post. Doub L Chin was great, he visits plump non pregnant women too. He gets "around" wish he'd go away instead. hehe

Danielle said...

Where have I heard Cletus the Fetus before??

Thimbelle said...

Hey - your's was the first blog I came to read now that I'm (allegedly) "back in business"! :)

Oh sweetie, I am so sorry about the heartburn! But I was THRILLED to bits to see how well M. was doing! We keep all y'all in our prayers all the time! :)

(((hugs!)))

T. :)