Unless that horse is a Charlie Horse.
Of which, I had one just last night, and YEOW! Do those things HURT!
For all you young women, unmarried women, or unwomen types, let me just help you with this little anecdote regarding pregnancy: leg cramps are a pain in the neck!
Errr....LEG, that is.
It is a common occurance in the gestational months. For some reason, if your calcium levels get a little low, the muscles in your legs---specifically the calf muscles---pitch a fit. And this seems to happen a lot at night. You'll be sleeping, finally, and not getting up to go to the bathroom for the 5th time, and not tossing and turning, and the baby-to-be has finally ended their gymnastics routine, and all of a sudden......
That leg just starts screaming. And YOU start screaming. And your husband runs for his gun.
OK, well, SOME husbands might...
I had been suffering with leg cramps yesterday evening. They were "pre-charlie horse" leg cramps. Like, you could tell it was coming, but it wasn't that bad. Just real tight, and I felt as though "Restless Leg Syndrome" must feel just like this. I couldn't keep still. My calves just ached.
The night wore on, and the aching eased a bit as I continued to change positions. I pretty much forgot about it. The legs felt fine.
Until 5 am.
Can't tell you what I was dreaming about. I was pretty much slammed out of sleep to the awful reality that my calf muscles had set off a bomb in the subway system of my lower leg.
But my husband, my sweet sweet husband, awoke at the first "AAAAAAA!!" and proceeded to rescue me from my painful predicament. Actually, he didn't exactly wake up, because he's done this so many times in our 9+ years of marriage. He more or less determined the leg of offense and quickly and precisely slammed his fist into a pressure point on the bottom of my foot. This stopped the pain immediately. To which I fell back down on the pillow, panting, grateful for a husband who uses his fist for something other than anger.
I'm not quite sure how he did it, but he figured out this little maneuver back when I was pregnant the first time, with Michaela. Back then, I got these "bombs" every night. And Chris is now a pro, 6 kids later. He can perform this in his sleep. To which, I'm thankful, because MAN! those suckers HURT!
So ladies, if you find your pregnant self plagued by visits from a horse named Charlie, be sure to have YOUR husband ask MY husband about that little trick.
Oh, and don't forget to drink your milk.